Vampire Hillbilly AU Part 3: Morally Bankrupt Serrial Killers R Us

[scarletkilometers]

ScarletKilometers: [http://mazarinedrake.tumblr.com/post/168348584350/vampire-meme]

ScarletKilometers: With reference to the Urban Fantasy AU

Bumblebard: lmao

ScarletKilometers: There is a Very Specific Reason the vampire hillbilly squad is as staunchly anti-intellectual as they are

ScarletKilometers: The reason is that Plumeria is kind of a dick

Bumblebard: reasonable

ScarletKilometers: Lillie is probably constantly turning into rat swarms mid-sentence

She probably wears a lot of blood drive shirts too

Bumblebard: would gladion, as a vampire werewolf, ever turn into a litter of wolf puppies

ScarletKilometers: In this verse she moves out of her mom's and almost instantly devolves into a meme singularity how did this happen

Bumblebard: i think we are drawn to memeify lillie

ScarletKilometers: Gladion just turns into a more anxious version of gladion

ScarletKilometers: Werewolves were really not built to stick it out alone and he was on his own for like three years between being turned and finding his sister again so he's kind of a wreck

ScarletKilometers: Conversely vampires are generally pretty solitary mostly stick it out solo or in pairs

ScarletKilometers: Get more than three together and the bodies really start to pile up

ScarletKilometers: It is not only possible but directly advantageous to not be leaving corpses behind every feeding

ScarletKilometers: But once you get over a certain number of vampires together "we can split this fat hiker between five people easy" starts to outweigh "dead bodies attract unnecessary attention and we'll probably find another one later"

ScarletKilometers: Right up until it doesn't and then everybody's fucked

ScarletKilometers: Once you sand off the memes team skull is basically an object lesson in why vampire covens are NOT A THING in this universe

Bumblebard: lol

Bumblebard: vampire covens, but only once

ScarletKilometers: Remember kids you can write as much fanfic about morally bankrupt serial killers as you want as long as They Got The Jokes